Monday, August 23, 2010

Cheryl Lynn


1998..the same year she died.

Today (well, yesterday in korea--today in the states) is the 12 year anniversary since my mom died. Hard to believe its been so long. I have been thinking a lot about her...and about all that has happened since she left this world. This summer as I was getting ready to move to Korea, I did a whole lot of packing and sorting and getting rid of. It was a very emotional process. As I rummaged through boxes I rummaged through my memories. Memories from different phases of life. Looking at pictures, old dolls, notes, memorabilia, souvenirs brought me back to places i hadn't thought about in a long time. I stumbled across some things of my moms. Wedding pictures. Notes. Cards. Her diary. The funeral program. Letters that people wrote us after she died. I was reminded that I will always miss her. Even after years and years go by. I will always remember her. I remember her laugh...she was kind of known for her laugh. It was LOUD. And full of joy! And she always found ways to laugh at things that others might find annoying or menacing. During one of her chemo sessions when she was completely bald, my little brother Jon (who was 7 at the time) said, "mom, you look like an alien. i'm sorry you look like that." She just laughed. I am sure she is still laughing in heaven...filled with more joy than she ever had in this life. I can't wait to meet her again. Life is but a breathe.

thankful.

Alright, so first off, originally the the previous post and this post were one. But it got too long! So this is the second half! So, I need to apologize for the lack of updates. I have really been slacking...I think its a sign that things are starting to normalize. And feel less bizarre and foreign...and somehow less worth writing about. I know that’s not true...even the most ordinary things are worth writing about. Life, no matter how "ordinary" is a gift from our maker. I’ve been reminded recently that even the most ordinary experiences are meant to be spiritual, and therefore beautiful. Because so much of how we experience life has to do with our perspective…with how we approach each situation, each conversation, each moment. Each moment is an opportunity to know God deeper. To love him more fully. To learn. To grow. To love others. To bring healing. And ultimately to be Christ in a very dark and broken world. Gosh, how amazing. And also, what a calling. It reminds me of the verse in Ephesians (4:1) that says “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Wow. I’ve read that so many times, but lately I have been just amazed at how great and how difficult our calling is. As a person who knows Jesus and claims to be his follower, I am called to be his presence here in earth. To do what he would do. Say what he would say. I feel so inadequate. But thankfully, that’s ok. I’ve been reading Francis Chan’s book Forgotten God about the Holy Spirit, and he talks about how incredible it is that God gave us the gift of his Spirit. So that we could have God’s presence among us always, even after he left this earth. And his Spirit wants to empower us to do the impossible. To overcome our fear. To overcome our sin. To overcome whatever comes into our path. So, although I’m in Korea, I’m finding that the things that have brought me the MOST joy are not things that I could only experience in Korea. Rather, they are moments where I get glimpses of God and glimpses of the vision that God has for me. But, being here has challenges me and brought about a lot of growth. I think being here on my own has really given God space to work. I’ve been hungering for him more and spending more time in prayer than I have in a long time. I’m really grateful.

So now, for the Korea update. I've been here almost two months now. Does that sound as crazy to you as it does to me? Two months is barely enough time to fully get used to a completely new way of life. Or to understand a completely foreign and complex culture. Or to adjust to the absence of wonderful people in my life. Or to build deep, meaningful, pee-in-front-of-each- other, vulnerable kinds of friends. Kindreds. But, to build those kinds of roots takes time and hard work. And even with time, rich relationships like that don't just come along everyday. And I'm not expecting to feel that rooted here...probably even in a year. Although its not impossible.

But, I feel that now, I have some roots. They don't go super deep and they are pretty fragile...but they are there. I have begun to understand snippets of Korean culture. I have gotten to know people, and hear bits and pieces of their stories. I've laughed with my coworkers. I’ve gotten to know my students. I’ve seen some beautiful places. I’ve gotten used to some of the things that used to seem so strange (like live eels squirming around in little tubs of water at the outdoor markets). The guy who sells fruits and veggies near my apartment now recognizes me, and shouts a korean greeting to me when I walk by. I am no longer a complete stranger here. I have started to feel more "at home" here and am excited to continue to be rooted in this place. I am really loving my new home.

what i've been up to

Here’s a quick summary of what I’ve been up to lately. Still teaching (obviously), and really, really enjoying it. I still have much to learn, but I feel a lot more comfortable teaching. The kids are really adorable..mostly. I love being and working with kids everyday. They are so uninhibited. And always keep me on my toes! Its never boring, that’s for sure. I look forward to getting to know them better. I had a week long vacation at the end of July, and I went to Seoul to visit my friend Ana from high school. It was so good to be with her and to have a break. Not like I had been here long enough to merit a vacation, but hey, I had to so I made sure that I enjoyed it. :) We visited a lot of historical sites and saw some beautiful architecture. We went to an amusement park called “Seoul Land” and had a blast riding the miniature and slightly sketchy rides. Apparently its one of the oldest parks in korea, so it reminded me a little of peruvian fairs…a few notches above those. We talked and ate some delicious food and successfully got ourselves from a to b on the crazy seoul subway system. The next weekend, I was able to visit my cousin, Erik, who lives and also teaches English in Busan. Busan is the second biggest city in Korea on the coast. He's going on his second year here, so he is pretty connected in Busan. It was fun to meet his friends and just to be with family! We went

to the most crowded beach I’ve ever been to…where people wore life vests in waste deep water. And life guards blew their whistles when people got too near the rope which prevented people from going past waste-deep. I made friends with a shop keeper near my house, who has really taken me under her wing. She is single and older and a christian…and speaks great English. She lived in New Zeeland for seven years. I pop in her shop a lot to chat, and we eat dinner together sometimes. Among other things, I went to a baseball game last weekend with some friends from the church I’ve been attending. It was my first baseball game ever. Kind of ironic. :) Daegu’s team won with flying colors…so that was a lot of fun. I also got a visit from a friend who went to Calvin with me, Gina, who recently moved to a city right outside of Daegu. She stayed with me this past weekend with me. It was wonderful and so refreshing! I’m thankful God has placed her nearby! I have found some really wonderful people here, and I am excited to continue building new relationships. Oh, almost forgot to mention that this weekend I had my first experience with Korean karaoke…called noreabang. It was wonderful. Why haven't we adopted this in the states? you get your own private room with comfy couches, microphones, a big screen and even a bathroom (though ours was only for men. not very female friendly!). I’m also learning some Korean…and can now successfully read most things. I still have no idea what they say, but hey, it’s a step. Will write more later. much love!